Hopelessly Wanting
by Yassig
Summary: Umi goes back to Cephiro after saving it and helping to get rid of the pillar system. She knows that she is eating her heart out over Clef. But can she make him see that she's more than just a Magic Knight? Please R&R!
1. Going Back

The disclaimer: I do not own the characters!

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**Going Back**

_I'm back!_ Umi was so excited that she wanted to do cartwheels. She had missed Cephiro sooo much in the past few months. She knew that her friends had too. Unlike her, they each had their soulmates in this world. Umi had often wondered why they had returned to Tokyo with her after the pillar system was done away with. Umi couldn't imagine leaving her true love behind. But then again, her true love didn't know that she felt that way.

Sighing, she stepped toward the castle. It was so nice to see blue skies and the castle rebuilt. The last time that she was here there had been so much destruction.

"Umi!" Before she could even catch a breath she was wrapped up in a huge hug. Laughing, she demanded to be put down.

"Ascot! It's so good to see you!" She smiled up at her friend. Part of her was sad that she could never return his feelings for her. He was such a wonderful guy. And he was always there to save her.

The telltale blush had already started to creep back into her cheeks. She really wished that he could find someone that would make him happy.

"Where is everyone?"

"Master Clef is in the throne room, I believe. It's turned into a place for meditation for him since the last time you were here. Everyone else is in the residential area."

"That's perfect—I want to say hi to him before I catch up with everyone. I'll see you later, okay?" She smiled as she walked into the large castle.

Everything had been decorated so beautifully. Which was kind of interesting, considering there was no Pillar to occupy the castle anymore. Not that it wasn't put to good use. Most of her friends still lived in the castle, as well as about a quarter of the country. If nothing else, you stayed just for the sheer beauty. Everything was perfectly done in crystal. It had taken her breath away the first time she had seen it, and now, cleaned up, it was even more amazing.

She slowly approached the throne room with mounting nervousness. She had almost blurted out her true feelings to Clef the last time that she had seen him. But she had pulled back at the last moment. He had been so wrapped up in so many things that it just didn't seem appropriate. Plus, she was pretty sure that how she felt for Ascot was how he felt for her. He was several hundred years old, after all. Why would he even look twice at a girl like her?

Hoping that she wouldn't be too obvious, she slowly approached. He had his eyes closed and looked older than that last time that she had seen him. She wanted desperately to give him a big hug and ruffle his hair. But she knew that he wouldn't appreciate that. People back where she were from would mistake him for a child. But to her he was the perfect man. Sighing over the impossible, she softly spoke. "Master Clef."

His eyes immediately popped open. "Umi!" Quickly standing up he rushed to give her a hug, something she never expected. "It's so good to see you! What brings you back, Magic Knight?"

"I missed this place. I wanted to come back and see what it was like now that its been rebuilt by the hearts of the people. The castle looks absolutely beautiful."

"Yes, it does, doesn't it? So much has changed thanks to you girls. I was so afraid that everything would be repeated with a new Pillar. Thank God Hikaru knew what was truly in her heart."

"It's good to see you looking so well Master Clef. We were all a little worried when we left."

Clef smiled. "I was a little strained, but I am tough."

Umi smiled.

"Alright, I know that you haven't come here just to see me so I will let you go. If you'd like, I'd love to have dinner with you."

"Really? That'd be great!"

"Sure. I know that all of your friends will want to be there in celebration."

Umi kept the smile to her face. She knew that Master Clef didn't really understand how she felt, but for some reason she kept hoping.

"It will be great to spend time with everyone again. I'll see you then Master Clef."

"I'll see you then, Umi." With a smile, he watched her walk away.

"Umi!" Next thing she knew, she was being attacked by a mass of pink hair. Laughing, she tried to extricate herself. "It's good to see you too Caldina. I take it that Ascot told you I was here."

"Of course! And shame on you for not coming by to say hello earlier!"

"I was just catching up with Master Clef."

"Ah," Caldina said with a knowing look.

"And don't look at me like that!" She hated that other people knew how she felt.

"I didn't say a word. Now come on," she said as she put an arm around Umi's shoulders. "Let me show you the Cephiro that I grew up in—the one that you would be proud of."

Umi spent the next few hours visiting all of her old friends. It was wonderful to be back. To tell the truth, ever since she had come here the first time she had felt lost when she was back in Tokyo. It was like she just didn't fit in anymore. Now that she had an apartment of her own, it was easy to explain her absence for awhile. There were times when she wanted to move back completely and forget about her life in Tokyo. The only thing that kept her from leaving permanently was that she knew that it would break her parents' hearts.

Ferio was waving his hands in front of her face. "Umi, you still with us?"

"Oh, sorry Ferio!" She hugged her friend. "How are you doing? It's so good to see you!"

"I'm doing okay. How are things back in Tokyo?"

"Oh, the same old thing. Ooh, but I did bring a picture of Fuu for you. This was from our trip to the beach a couple of months ago."

Ferio stared at his beautiful girlfriend, laughing with her friends on the beach. Umi left him there with his memories, knowing that he would want to be alone. _I still don't understand how they manage to live apart. I just don't think I could handle it._ She knew her friend would give anything to be with Ferio all the time, but was, like herself, torn between the two worlds and trying desperately to figure out how to combine them.

Umi made her way to the garden, sitting down on the bench and just taking in the sounds. It seemed like so long ago that she was first summoned here with her two friends to help save this world. And now she was here, practically as a tourist, and it was wonderful to see. If only she could share her happiness with someone…

Clef found her there sometime later, staring off into space. He hated to disturb her, but as he turned to leave she noticed him. "Master Clef?"

"Sorry Umi. I just wanted to see if you wished to use your old room."

"That would be wonderful. Thank you Master Clef."

"You seemed so far away just then. Is something wrong?"

"Nothing really big, Master Clef. Don't worry about me," she said with a smile.

"Alright, Magic Knight. I will see you soon for dinner."

Umi looked back at the rose bush to her right. Magic Knight. She knew that that was all that she would be to Clef, but it still hurt. Not that she had come back expecting anything more. Clef would never lead her on. It just hurt that she had loved him for so long and knew it would never be returned. _Come on girl, you've thought that a million times today. It's time to be happy._ Mentally shaking herself, she headed back toward her old room. A bath and a small nap before dinner is just what she needed.

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Hope that you liked it:)  



	2. A Dinner Affair

Author's Note: I really apologize for starting and then stopping. I just got married and the wedding took up most of my time. Hope that you enjoy!

The disclaimer: I do not own the characters!

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**A Dinner Affair**

It was great to see everyone again. Dinner was a large celebration, with all of her friends attending. It seemed like not too much had changed since she had left. Yes, the castle had been put back together and Cephiro wasn't crumbling anymore. But the people…they hadn't changed very much at all. And for that, Umi was incredibly grateful. She had missed her friends so much in the past few months that it was almost unbearable. If they had changed she would have been crushed. Some days, coming back to Cephiro was the only thing that gave her happiness. She knew in her heart that she belonged in this world…she was just scared to break off ties with the other.

As is sensing her inner battle, Ascot leaned in and whispered to her. "Are you alright Umi?"

Umi couldn't help but smile. He really was very sweet. "I am okay Ascot. It's just good to be back."

Knowing that this wasn't the full answer, he stood up from the table. "Would you all excuse me?" Leaning down, he whispered again into Umi's ear. "Please, come take a walk with me."

Umi nodded, excusing herself as well from the table and following Ascot outside to the garden area where she had been earlier that afternoon. Ascot led her to a bench where they could both sit.

"Umi, I know that you know my feelings for you." Umi felt slightly uncomfortable and couldn't meet his eyes. "And you know that I would never ask for anything in return other than your friendship. I know what you feel or don't feel for me, and I have accepted it."

Umi felt incredibly humbled. "I'm sorry that I can't return your feelings Ascot."

"Me too Umi. But you should know that just because you don't doesn't mean that you still can't come to me when you need a friend. Something is bothering you. Can you tell me what it is?"

Umi sighed. "Well, for one thing, I don't want to leave here. I love it here, but I'm having a really hard time trying to live in two worlds. I'm not from here…I should be back in Tokyo. But for some reason I feel this irresistible pull bringing me back here all of the time. I feel torn between the two."

"Umi, where does it say that you have to make a definitive choice between the two?"

"What?"

"Well…in your world, do people always stay living in the same place?"

"No…"

"The only difference between people moving away to another place in your world, and living between the two worlds as you are now, is that _you_ know that it's a different world instead of another city. But it never means that you have to discard one for the other."

"Wow…I never thought of it like that."

"You know what a vacation is, right? Well, just think of visiting another world as an exotic vacation."

"You know, it sounds so simple. I can't believe I didn't think of it before!" Umi smiled.

"Ah, that's because you never asked me," Ascot replied with a wink.

"Now, tell me what else is bothering you, because I know that that wasn't all of it."

Umi became suddenly very embarrassed. How could she talk about her feelings for another guy, knowing how he felt about her? "Um…well, I don't know if I could…"

"Ah, so it is true. You're in love with Master Mage Clef."

Ascot could see that he had shocked her. "Caldina spilled the beans. She didn't mean to, mind you, and made me swear not to tell." He gave her a sympathetic smile.

"Oh Ascot, I feel awful."

"I know the feeling… Actually, if you could talk to anyone about how horrible it is, I'm probably the best one because I completely understand," he joked.

Umi could only smile. "How do you get through it?"

"You learn to accept it, and keep living life. If you let it be the only thing you live for it can destroy you, knowing that the person you care about most in the world doesn't feel the same way about you. Or, you can take the more sane route and realize that you're lucky to have someone in your life that you cherish that much. And while they may never have the same feelings for you, you know that you have a great friend and there are others around who will help you through the bad times."

Umi sighed. "When did you become so smart?"

Ascot just grinned. "I've had a lot of growing pains to get this smart, you know."

Umi gave him a hug. "Thank you Ascot. I know that sometimes our friendship will be the hardest thing for you, but I really appreciate you being here for me." She gave his a kiss on the cheek. "I don't know what I would do without you."

Master Mage Clef had walked by at that moment, seeing Umi kiss Ascot. He had suddenly started to feel jealousy, something he hadn't felt since his youth.

Confused, he turned and left the two. _Now why should I feel jealousy? She is a Magic Knight…someone that I have brought here for my own means. Someone that I would protect. Besides that, I'm old enough to be her great great great…Okay, that's enough of thinking about age._

Depressed, he sat down in the thrown room. Meditation would be the best way for him to figure out what was going on in his head…

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And now for my shout outs:

Mimi – I'm so glad that you love the story so far! I hope that I don't stray too far from the original characters' personalities. :)

Claudia -- Thank you for the high praise! I have kept Clef in his smaller version because it is the one that I'm most familiar with. But who knows…he is a mage. He may grow taller!

Enjie Yekcam – This time the other 2 aren't there…at least, not yet. Still working on when I'd like them to join the storyline. Thanks for the review!

chihiro ogino – Thank you for the review! I hope that I can live up to the expectations :)


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